A Better Golden Rule

QUIZ: Which is systemically ethical? Do to others as…?

1. ...they would do to you
2. ...as you would have them do to you
3. ...they would want you to do to them
4. ...what your God told you to do to them
5. ...your family and pastor told you

All human interactions are transactional! Successful transactions require empathy and language that has equal value AND meaning to BOTH sides. If not, then… discord.

When giving gifts, humans tend to give what THEY subconsciously want, not what the receiver wants. Is it “the thought that counts”? Really?... Hell NO! It’s about the value given and received, which requires knowing the needs and desires of the other.

Systemic transactional ethics REQUIRES a modern tweak to an ancient rule, some now call it the Platinum Rule.

Fundamentals of systemic conflict vs harmony are two things:
1)   All human interactions are transactions, whether conscious or subconscious
2)   The give-receive feedback loop determines all relationships

Therefore, true ethics will insist that before you make any assumptions about the character of the other, you must know enough about them to know how to present your “gift”.

When people give gifts in real life, they tend to give a gift that THEY would want. This is called projection, and leads to that always-awkward situation of having to pretend you like it and saying “well, it’s all about the thought”.

The much better gift is to discover what the other sees value in and deliver that.

If we want to solve the most basic problems of conflict in society, it starts with applying this systemic Golden Rule to every single interaction between you and the “other”.

"Oughtness" refers to ethics. Here is a graphic representation of what a modern approach to ethics needs to consider.

 

Answer: #3 Do unto others as...they would want you to do to them.

Too true! Platinum rule reigns supreme. It is nice as a thought to give a gift, but giving a gift that the receiver wants is better. I think there is value in the thought, but if you give something special designed for the recipient (an actual gift, or assistance for a task, or emotional gift etc.) much better to tailor it to the recipeint.

I understand early criticism of The Golden Rule came from philosophers like Kant and Nietzsche. They objected to the rule for various reasons with one reason in particular...how can you truly know if you don't share the same background, upbringing, standards, etc.

So how does one know how others want to be treated? The short answer is that you can't—not unless you make it your business to find out.

As experts say: The Platinum Rule is a variation of The Golden Rule that calls for a more thoughtful approach when dealing with others. It asks that you "Do unto others as they would want to be done to them."

Basically, in simple terms, following The Platinum Rule means making sure you know how the people around you want to be treated.